Executive Functioning Disorder

DAILY JUNK
http://everythingfeelsdifferent.wordpress.com/

that’s my new blog and I will be focusing on that one now.

Nothing ever stays the same

DAILY JUNK

I really don’t know what to do at this point except for getting new friends. Luckily, I am going to be at purchase in 3 days and then I will have my all new friends. I will be able to start new with out the judging and all. The great thing about college is that everyone just wants to have a good time so there is a lot less bull shit. I want to say goodbye to the drama and feeling left out. I’m tired of being lied to and being pushed out of things all because no one wants to deal with anything. Everyone has flaws and we go past them and love people anyway. All the sudden people have forgotten that so once again for the millionth time all because I have anxiety issues and a little pain in the ass thing called executive functioning disorder. Great

Girls just want to have fun

DAILY JUNK

It is the end of the summer, which means that I have a lot on my fucking mind. THIS INCLUDES THE FACT THAT ITS THE END OF THE FUCKING SUMMER! I can’t deal with the fact that yesterday I had to say goodbye to my best friend. I am not going to see him until october and it kills me when I am used to seeing him every day. He used to live right around the corner and now he is in Maine 8 hours away. I miss you so much boo boo <3 I really don’t want to think about what’s going to happen when Tamara and Dre leave and when I leave. I think that it will be really good for me to get away from the family for awhile, but for some reason I am still going to miss them. I also am going to miss jazz and V and Em even though I am ten minutes from him. This summer was crazy filled with amazing moments and really shitty times too. It was the summer I needed…it wasn’t perfect, but it was as good as it was going to get. I am really excited for school. New people to meet and things to do. I am planning on majoring in Journalism and New media if the school allows me to. I really think that this is what I need to do in order to get to where I want to be. I think I want to be a food critic, but I am not sure if I am just forcing myself because I worked so hard to be in the food industry and I am scared to be indecisive. It doesn’t help that I have to choose an internship for the summer. I am so screwed. I have to crack down…not too much though. I need to live. I want to be happy and productive.
 
The idea of you and me makes me smile You were cute today

i love us and i’m wondering where us is

DAILY JUNK

I am so fucking tired of being the one left out when it comes to going to rye. I thought everything was going well and now it seems that I am the only one that Elise doesn’t invite. Why would you say that things are chill with us if clearly they aren’t when you don’t invite me. Of course this leaves me alone every night and I am really starting to think of getting a new group of friends, but I have known this crew for so long I don’t know how

i am les promoter

DAILY JUNK

DRINK 4KICK!   http://www.4kickusa.com/

trust me you don’t want to be me

DAILY JUNK

I hate this fucking town. I have been living here practically my entire life and it hasn’t gotten any better. Yes, I have amazing friends and no body has a perfect life, but that’s not even what I want. I just hate living in a town of judgmental, rich bitches who have nothing to do other than go shopping and party. Granted…I’m a social butterfly, but I don’t want to party all the time! I understand that it’s summer, but i want to do things that are fun and different. Things that I can remember forever and actually not regret. I wish I could of those people who can say they have no regrets, but I am not one of those people. The best days of my summer were the ones where my friends and I actually did things like warp tour, or going to play land. I am really tired of the same old thing…I want something better for myself. I don’t want to party just because there is nothing else to do, but that is what we have been doing. I think that’s one of the reasons I am so excited for school and yet really nervous. I want a different change of pace even though I am going to miss my friends so much. I want to get serious about my work and actually do well and I want to be able to tell stories of fun and interesting days when I am not already studying. I want to go to the gym and lose the lazy weight that I gained and say that I am living a life worth living. I think it’s a really big problem that I have really high expectations of school which makes me really nervous for it, but sometimes I think maybe I don’t have high expectations and maybe it’s just that I have been doing things unlike myself. I want to explore and learn and be happy and I would love the company of anyone who wants the same thing as I do.

I fly like paper get high like planes

DAILY JUNK

The summer is almost over and it’s really freaking me out. I am ready to rid of all bug bites and any obligation I have to a job, but the summer is time for relaxing and having fun times with friends. I am really excited for Purchase, but I am worried about my classes. Focusing is going to be a large challenge especially, at Purchase because there is so much to do. “

Losing connection with people is mad weird. Have you ever received a phone call, or message from someone who you haven’t talked to in ages? Well, I got one today and it was really awkward. We had nothing to talk about and at first I didn’t even realize who it was.

You are the most complicated thing to ever happen to me. The frequent calls that I get from you don’t even make me smile anymore because you are just trying to use me. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ANYMORE.

So, I have had this best friend since I was really little and their personality is really hard to deal with lately. I don’t want to be the one who gets walked all over anymore, but it still happens.

This summer as a whole has been really really amazing and I can’t wait for the rest of the memories to be just as good. This weekend especially!!!!!!!

Bitch I’m The Bomb Like Tick Tick

DAILY JUNK

So everything has been really intense lately.

summer lovin/lovin this summer

DAILY JUNK

So I feel the need to talk about how amazing my summer is going so far and how excited I am for it to just get better and better. Yes, of course there has been some really shitty things that went down and whatever, but I decided to try and have a more positive attitude over all. I mean I get to hang with my friends, make money for school and for myself, and just do fun/stupid things with friends. The memories that I am making are going to last a life time and that is what really matters most. As far as work it seems I am staying at balduchbags, but at least its money. The twins are right now at a teen tour which is bitter sweet. My parents are giving me freedom for the most part. My friends and I are all closer than ever, which also means being as dumb as ever. I have decided that at least when we have lost a lot of brain cells and possibly body parts that we will have the good stories instead. When it comes to love…everythings the same. I am not getting with my old crush anymore, which leaves me to where I started. Although…I am trying to have a more open mind.

Goals:
1. Do something I would never normally do
2. Watch my weight
3. Stay at balduchbags
4. Go to all my concerts
5. Buy things for my dorm room
6. Get scrapbook stuff for school
7. Deal with my camera
8. Love/deal with whats going on
9. Try and keep positive
10. Relax/lose stress
11. Hang with my friends as much as possible
12. Hang with my family
13. Keep my room clean for more than 5 minutes
14. Go clubbing in the city
15. Trip to visit cia people
16. Confront my therapist
17. Do something about my hair
18. Shopping spree at woodburry commons for school
19. Not get arrested
20. Throw a kick ass party

No more next door neighbor

DAILY JUNK

I am so overwhelmed/Depressed right now that I don’t know what to do with myself. I just found out that my best friend jazz is moving. I have been best friends with her for three years. I have gone through so much with her especially, when it counts and now she is about to leave. These days I see her every day and we basically live at each others houses. We are always there for each other in the good and the bad. I know that she may not move far away for at least a year, but even 20 minutes is far when you don’t have a car to see each other. The idea that she will be even farther than that in a year is rediculously scary. What am I going to do with out her? What she and I have is irreplacable. Who else am I going to get to pain their nails like a watermelon with me, or see love guru with our heads on backwards? Whose going to swap friendship bracelets with me and create bizzar hookah flavors with me? I’m feeling a huge emptyness inside and she isn’t even gone yet. Since I found out a few hours ago it only slowly and painfully sinks in and with every moment it gets harder and harder not to cry and to not feel like I just lost not only my best friend and rock, not only one of the most amazing people I have ever met, but one of my thirds…my tripplet. All I know is that no matter what I am not going to let anything else change between us because even the distance can’t ruin the amazing friendship that we have and I cherish so much as it grows stronger and stronger and more memories are created. I love you jazzle jazzle <3